Tearin' Up My Hart

Today is pretty much one of the greatest days of the year, the Brewers played their first official Spring Training game and subsequently I've had an erection for the last 17 hours. It was a 3-3 tie with the A's and Jeff Suppan continued his trend of being the most unreliable man making $12 million. But there's a more pressing issue when it comes to this year's Brewers. It seems that the last few seasons we've been the team with an absolutely stacked Farm System that was just ready to rise. Well now that System is up in the Bigs and they all have at least 2 years of Major League experience - including a playoff run under their belts. This is around the time when you begin to realize that this team is a lot like the rise of *NSYNC.
They even match up Man for Man. Prince Fielder is comparable to Joey Fatone - both have perfect facial hair and both have the ability to eat their weight in hoagies. I look at JJ Hardy as JC Chasez - both are not really the star of the group, but JJ is quietly one of the best Short Stops in the game - while JC is currently a judge on America's Best Dance Crew. Rickie Weeks is the Lance Bass of the group - he's the gentle pretty boy... both will let a hang-nail get in the way of recognizing their potential. The most obvious comparison is Ryan Braun to Justin Timberlake - both are the young studs of the group who will go on to be the top performers in the game. Both have a certain douche quality to them, yet you just can't seem to stay mad at. And last... and probably least in both accounts Corey Hart is Chris Kirkpatrick.
There are a lot more comparisons here. For starts both are the eldest of their respective groups. Corey Hart will soon be 27 making him almost a full year older than the Farm System Brewers - and while most of *NSYNC was getting ready to hit 18, Mr. Kirkpatrick was having flashbacks from proudly serving his country in Vietnam. Neither are strong finishers either. All Star Corey Hart finished the season batting a phenomenal .173 in September, including a .239 clip since the Mid Summer Classic. After his days of singing like a girl and hobnobbing with JT - Kirkpatrick went on to... to... get made fun of in the Eminem song Without Me. Don't worry kids though Chris has a steady job (according to Wikipedia.org) on Nickleodeon's The Fairly Odd Parents and can be heard on an Orlando Morning Radio Show... as a guest.
I'm hoping the Hart can shake the Kirkpatrick in him, so Corey doesn't end up doing the baseball equivalent of Gone Country Season 2. My worry is in his scouting reports. The two I read from when he was coming up were the same - great guy, works hard, but gets tired at the end of the season. With the departure of Ben Sheets and CC Sabathia, many have questioned our starting rotation. The 2009 Brewers are going to need Corey Hart in All Star form, not Kirkpatrick form.