Movie Critic: Vicky Cristina Barcelona

I'll say it right now -
I'm a 23 year-old heterosexual male that loves Woody Allen movies.
There, now that that is out of the way - since 1992 he's put out horse shit. But I think he may be back to his old form here. The movie has a great setting - Barcelona - and a great cast - Rebecca Hall (Vicky), Scarlett Johansson (Cristina... clever title eh?) - and Javier Bardem (who I'm pretty sure sweats testosterone). The first thing that lured me into this film was the promise of a scene in which Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz make-out... to be frank, I'd watch a movie where Margaret Cho and Bea Arthur make-out if I someone told me, '... well, you won't hate it.' It reminded me of my week in Barcelona... except with more 3 somes... and the inclusion of sex in general. It was actually kind of interesting hearing the normal 'Woody Neurotic Dialogue' from someone else - in this case Rebecca Hall (who along with Bardem are fantastic in this movie). It suffers from uneven pacing and starts falls apart with an ending that just left me feeling unsatisfied (typical Scar-Jo).
Vicky Cristina Barcelona - 3/5 Stars

The Band, Not the Continent

For some odd reason this struck me last night - has the song Heat of the Moment by Asia ever been used in a teen/high school/coming of age movie for a sex scene? If not, it may be one of the most ludicrous things I've ever heard. Name a better song for a teen movie sex scene, I implore you - name one. The problem then comes up with naming a song for how the awkward 'next day in school', or the 'impending teenage pregnancy scare'.

Previously on 24...

Seeing as I've been in France and Spain I have not seen a single second of 24 - Day 7... and it's safe to say it's absolutely killing me. So to get my fix (with some help from an old Best Week Ever post), I now present the 10 Most Ridiculous Moments in 24 History (up to Day 7)
10. Teri Bauer get Amnesia (Day 1)
9. Jack Dies (Day 2)
8. Wayne Palmer Wakes Up from a Coma to Avert a Nuclear Strike (Day 6)
7. A Cougar (Ed. Note: Not a Foxy Older Woman) Stalks Kim Bauer (Day 2)
6. Chloe Brings a Baby into CTU (Day 3)
5. Erin Driscoll Ignore Impending Nuclear Holocaust for Quality Time with her Schizophrenic Daughter (Day 4)
4. The Vice President Sleep with an Aide... Who is Sleeping with a Spy (Day 6)
3. Kim Returns to the House of a Murderer (Day 2)
2. Jack Cuts off Chase's Hand (Day 3)
1. A Nuclear Bomb Detonates in Los Angeles and Panic Fails to Ensue (Day 6)

Ladies and Gentleman... I Present The Spool

There's an epidemic sweeping America, whether it's been popped collars or just being a douche in general the term 'Tool' doesn't really get thrown around enough. Now being the advanced world traveler I am - I've run into a new bread -
Latin Name: Spaniferous Toolicose
Common Name: the Spanish Tool
The Spool... if you will, has been seen many a time - mostly around Central and Northwestern Spain. He is identified by the Mullet, the Vanilla Ice fade, or just a Pony Tail. Any type of haircut that should be found in a time capsule spanning anywhere from July '81 to December '92 is their main target. It's also accompanied nicely by brightly colored 80's shirts, their sister's jeans, and high top sneakers (where the pants fit nicely under tongue). Common interest include - smoking a lot, listening to music on their cell phone while walking down the street (sans headphones) and hanging out on street corners or parks in small numbers. These guys are relentless - they have the Cat Calling Ability of 10 American Construction Workers and a penchant for Clubs, Electronic Music and Mixers that are roughly 15€ overpriced.
Listen Bra - let's say I get the Delorean up to 88 and go back in time to when what you're styling was mildly acceptable - I'm gonna be doing blow with Paul Molitor, not be surrounded by you. If I'm sitting outdoors at a restaurant and you casually walk past - I don't want my ears to start bleeding because you need to listen to your favorite DJ on your Razr2 over the sound of traffic or need to hear how bad you want to bang some feminina in Spanish at the top of your lungs.
I guess they're all over the place and we'll just have to deal with them... until VH1 produces Tool Academy: Madrid.